Emotions connect people. In joyful situations or in difficult circumstances, a bond is formed between people and mutual love grows.
"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
Romans 12:15
Crying
Crying is an expression of intense emotions, including joy and sorrow, in which tears are made. Sometimes a person cries silently; in other cases, it involves sobbing or making loud noises.
In the Bible, there is also frequent crying. We are going to look at reasons for crying.
Reasons to cry
Regret and injustice
In the examples from the Bible, we see that in all cases, crying is accompanied by intense emotions. Consider, for example, intense feelings of regret and injustice. We see this in Peter when he denied Jesus three times. The moment he hears the cock crow, he thinks about what Jesus said the previous night and Peter cries bitter tears of regret. Matthew 26:75.
Esau also regrets his thoughtless actions. He has forfeited his firstborn right. When he finds out about his younger brother's deception and notices that he has already received the special blessing, Esau experiences that he has been greatly wronged. Then he asks Isaac, "Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, even me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice, and wept." Genesis 27:38.
The prophet Elisha weeps because of atrocities that are about to happen. "The man of God wept. And Hazael said, Why weepeth my lord? And he answered, Because I know the evil that thou wilt do unto the children of Israel." 2 Kings 8:11-12.
At the entry into Jerusalem, Jesus also wept over what will happen in the future. Here He foretells the destruction of the city. Luke 41:39-44. But there is another reason why Christ wept. The leaders of the people abuse their power to make God's message of love a heavy yoke, suppress the truth so that it reaches the people as little as possible, and ultimately kill the Son of God. He is not concerned about Himself, but about people who are lost forever. That makes Him intensely sad.
"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen doth gather her brood under her wings, and ye would not!” Luke 13:34.
Meeting and parting
There are several encounters described in Genesis that involve crying, such as between Jacob and Rachel in Genesis 29:11. Even when Jacob meets Esau again years later and the brothers reconcile, tears flow. Genesis 33:4.
Much later in his life, Jacob has another emotional encounter. For years he thinks his beloved son Joseph is no longer alive. Eventually his other sons meet Joseph in Egypt, after which the whole family emigrates to Egypt. Joseph goes "to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and presented himself unto him; and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while.” Genesis 46:29.
People in the Bible also weep at partings between people who care deeply about each other. The first example is found in Ruth 1 when Naomi tells her daughters-in-law that it is better for them to stay with their own people.
Faithful friends Jonathan and David are forced by circumstances to say goodbye to each other, which is accompanied by bowing, hugging and crying. 1 Samuel 20:41.
Paul in Acts 20 is on his way to Jerusalem in a hurry, yet he arranges to say goodbye to the elders in Ephesus. A service of sorts takes place, during which Paul testifies, encourages and concludes with prayer.
"And when he had thus spoken, he kneeled down, and prayed with them all. And they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck, and kissed him, Sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake, that they should see his face no more. And they accompanied him unto the ship.” Acts 20:36-38.
Mourning
Illness and (impending) death are also reasons to weep, examples of which we find in God's Word. Hagar weeps when she thinks Ishmael will die. Gen 21:16.
The widow from Nain and those at the house of Jairus also weep because of mourning.
After the death of Jesus, Mary and the disciples weep for sorrow. On the first day of the week, Sunday, Mary goes to the tomb to tend Christ's body, but she finds an empty tomb. "Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away. Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master." John 20:15-16. Mary goes to the disciples to tell them the good news of Jesus' resurrection. But "they mourned and wept." Mark 16:10. And they did not believe Mary, until Jesus comes to them later that day and they see Him with their own eyes.
Weeping after a death
To the widow from Nain and the people in the house of Jairus, Jesus says: "Weep not." Luke 7:13 and Luke 8:52. David fasts and weeps when his son is incurably ill, but stops this after the boy has died. 2 Samuel 12:18-24.
So, is it wrong to cry when someone has died? No, it is not wrong. In fact, the first two young people are raised from the dead shortly after ‘weep not’.
David is realistic about it shortly after death, as we read in the Bible passage mentioned above. He does go to his wife to comfort her. There are differences in each person's needs and ways of expressing grief. And those differences are allowed to be there. Just because David stops crying does not mean that you or I are not allowed to cry when a loved one dies.
"We sympathize with you in your bereavement and widowhood. I have passed over the ground that you are now traveling, and know what it means. How much sorrow there is in our world! How much grief! How much weeping! It is not right to say to the bereaved ones, “Do not weep; it is not right to weep.” Such words have little consolation in them. There is no sin in weeping. Although the one who passes away has been for years a sufferer because of weakness and pain, yet that does not wipe away the tears from our eyes.” Retirement Years, p.158.
Jesus also weeps when his friend has died, and He visits his grave.
Effect of crying in the Bible
After Lazarus dies, the Lord and His disciples go to Bethany.
"Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled, And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!” John 11:32-36.
The most important aspect of crying is that it influences those around you. It communicates your emotion to others, as we read in the scripture passage. Tears evoke empathy from those around you, who can then offer help or comfort.
Praying to God with tears
Not only people can give us support when we are sad. We may submit our concerns to God in prayer at any time.
In 1 Samuel 1, Eli thinks Hannah is drunk, but that is not true. "For out of the abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto." Says she in 1 Samuel 1:16. In prayer, Hannah pours out her heart to the Lord. The stress has become too much for her, the longing for a baby, the bullying. It depresses her and she cries a lot, but after she prayerfully makes her vow to God, she feels better.
Late at night, people cry the most. David also cries in Psalms 6 around that time, but like Hannah, he feels better after his crying. He trusts in the promise that God hears every sincere prayer.
"I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. ... The LORD hath heard my supplication; the LORD will receive my prayer." Psalm 6:6 and 9.
"Come to repentance" is the call of James. "Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." James 4:9-10. It may seem strange that laughter and joy should be turned into sorrow and sadness. However, the apostle urges a sincere and complete conversion to God. Understanding that you cannot save yourself gives that you humble yourself and go to God in dependence on Him. The Lord will then accept you and give you joy again after sorrow.
Wipe away all tears
We may already look forward to the promises given to us in the Bible. From the return of Jesus there will be no more sorrow or misery. God Himself will wipe away all tears from our eyes. Isn't that a beautiful prospect for the future?
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. ... And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you." John 16:20 and 22.
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21:4.
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