Coping with loss

One of the hardest things in life is losing a loved one or something dear to us, such as health, work or a dream. In such a situation, emotions play such a big role that we easily become overwhelmed. God offers us focus, guidance, comfort and encouragement in His Word. In this blog I want to offer you a helping hand from the Bible to help you coping with the loss you are experiencing.

Jesus knows our emotions

In John 11 we read about Lazarus, the good friend of Jesus, who died. In it we read that Jesus also grieved and He sympathizes with us.

“When Jesus therefore saw her (Mary) weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled, And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!” John 11:33-36.

Even though He knew that Lazarus had died in faith and that He would raise him from the dead, He was very emotional and He felt sympathy for Martha, Mary, and the others. God also sympathizes with us when we are sad.

Into Thine hand

Yet we can feel alone when we are struggling. Although you have sweet, caring people around you, there are usually few who really understand you. That can make you feel lonely. But we may know that God knows our situation. And that He understands us completely.

“Thou hast seen it; for thou beholdest mischief and spite, to requite it with thy hand: the poor committeth himself unto thee; thou art the helper of the fatherless.” Psalms 10:14.

We are also called upon in this text to place our cares in His hand. We can do this by trusting God completely.

In Psalms 31 we read the example of David who feels very weakened by grief (verses 9-10). He clearly states that he trusts in God (verses 5, 6, 14, among others), because David knows that God is good and always ready to support those who trust in Him.

Psalms 31:23-24: “O love the LORD, all ye his saints: for the LORD preserveth the faithful, ... Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD."

We can always come to Him. Especially when we are tired and burdened. He promises us that, in addition to the strength mentioned above, He will give us rest (Matthew 11:28).

Job

If there is one person in the Bible who had to deal with a lot of loss, it was Job. He was the richest man in the area. In one day Job lost the many livestock he owned, most of his servants and also his ten children. How sad must Job have been when all those bad messages reached him? Yet he says: “the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21. It also states that Job did not sin and did not falsely blame God.

I think Job was able to react this way because he realized, among other things, that he was not the owner, but a steward of his land, business, children and health. With this vision, God is the owner of everything on earth, both the material and the immaterial. We humans only get it on loan.

Why?

Job chapters 3 through 31 are followed by lengthy discussions about the reason for Job's suffering. His “friends” sue Job, wrongly thinking that all his misery is his own fault.

When something bad happens to us, many people tend to look for the cause. Why? Why did this happen to me?

The reason for the suffering is not always immediately clear. In addition, the search for the cause has a number of risks. It can lead us to reject God and harden our hearts, blaming the Lord and rejecting the fact that God can bring good out of misery. Or it can cause us to focus on ourselves and try to solve problems in our own strength. In Job 38-41, God speaks to Job. He points out to him that He is the Almighty Creator. Job humbles himself and then replies:

“I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.” Job 42:2-3.

For what?

Sometimes we don't know why something happens in our lives. Perhaps we can look back on the situation later and see that God used it for good. Joseph is an example of this. His brothers acted wrongly when they sold Joseph into slavery, but when their father Jacob died many years later, Joseph tells his brothers:

“Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.” Genesis 50: 19-21

So instead of why, we should ask: for what? God asks us to stay close to Him so that He can help us. The Israelites lost their land, their home and, if they were not careful, their faith when they were in exile in Babylon. God promises them:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD.” Jeremia 29:11-14a.

He turned the situation of the Israelites around. God promises us that He wants to give us a future and hope. He can do that in your life too!

Concluding

We may bring all our worries and problems to God in prayer and claim the promises in His Word. We can be sure that He hears us. “LORD, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear: To judge the fatherless and the oppressed” Psalms 10:17-18a.

Emotions may be there. That's what makes us human. But in the meantime, keep trusting God, even if you don't understand why you're in a hard situation. He wants to comfort you and give you strength. And maybe something good can come out of your situation too.

My hope and prayer for you is in Psalms 20:1-2, 4-5:

"The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble;

the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;

Send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion; ...

Grant thee according to thine own heart, and fulfil all thy counsel.

We will rejoice in thy salvation,

and in the name of our God we will set up our banners:

the LORD fulfil all thy petitions."