God is the Lord over all our lives, including our married life. So, He has something to say about family planning. But what? What principles do we find in the Bible about marriage and having children? How do we honor God in family planning?
Stewardship
In Genesis 1:26-28 we read that God created humans in His image, male and female. Man was made with the ability to think and make decisions. God also gave man dominion over the earth. This dominion is about overseeing and caring for nature in the broadest sense. Christian stewardship asks us to take responsibility for human reproduction. Sexuality is thus one of the aspects over which humans have stewardship. This must be in harmony with God's will.
The purposes of intimacy
When God had created man and woman, He blessed them. The Lord instituted marriage and gave them commands. Among other things, "Be fruitful, and multiply" Genesis 1:28.
From this you can infer that marriage is generally intended to produce offspring. But the Bible does not say that having children is an obligation for every couple to please God.
We do find several texts in the Bible from which we can infer that children are a blessing and that there is joy to be found in parenthood. Consider, for example, Matthew 19:14, where Jesus blesses children and Psalms 127:3: "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."
Having and raising children helps parents understand God and develop compassion, caring, humility and selflessness.
"Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.” Psalms 103:13
In addition to its procreative purpose, sexuality also has a unifying purpose in marriage.
Intimacy between a husband and his wife is meant to experience pleasure and enjoyment together. This can be found in Ecclesiastes 9:9 and Proverbs 5:18-19. It is God's intention that married couples can have sexual intercourse with mutual respect (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). A deep, intimate relationship that forges strong bonds and protects a marriage partner from an inappropriate relationship with someone other than his or her spouse.
In God's design, sexual intimacy is not just for conception. The Bible offers married couples space to enjoy intimacy while taking measures to prevent pregnancy.
Freedom and responsibility
At creation, God gave people freedom of choice. He asks them to use their freedom responsibly (Galatians 5:1 and 13). In God's plan, a married couple forms a unit, having both freedom and responsibility to make decisions together for their family. We read this for example in Joshua 24:15: ".... choose you this day whom ye will serve.... but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."
A married couple should consider each other when making family planning decisions and be prepared to consider each other's needs and desires.
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Philippians 2:3-4.
In addition to a desire for children on the part of both partners, there are several factors that help determine the decision to have a family. Consider, for example:
is God being honored by changes in the family,
the financial situation of the family (1 Timothy 5:8),
do father and mother have the physical and mental health and strength to care for and raise an (additional) child (3 John 2, 1 Corinthians 6:19),
the social and political conditions in which children will be born (Matthew 24:19).
Natural family planning
To engage in family planning naturally, it is important to know the woman's cycle well. This is essential to avoid or pursue pregnancy. Although observations are made by the woman, knowledge and understanding about her cycle opens the way to communicate about it and take responsibility for it together as a couple.
The female hormones are estrogen and progesterone. Depending on the phase of the menstrual cycle, these hormones have high or low levels. This influences the body and is reflected in certain signals. By recognizing and keeping track of these signals, you can determine your fertile days, ovulation, and menstruation. By combining different signs of the body and doing this for several months, observation becomes more accurate and reliable.
Body temperature
Tracking basal body temperature is one method of indicating ovulation. After ovulation, the temperature goes up several tenths of a degree. At the start of menstruation, the temperature drops again.
By taking your temperature immediately upon waking in the morning, you measure basal body temperature. This is the most reliable because it is unaffected by physical activity or drinking, for example.
It is recommended to keep track of the measurements in a table or an app. Per person and per month, the course of measurements may vary. However, an increase in temperature immediately after ovulation and a decrease in temperature at the start of menstruation will be observable.
Cervical mucus
During the cycle, the amount and composition of the vaginal discharge, also called cervical mucus, changes. Leading up to ovulation, the mucus will become more abundant and more fluid. On the day of ovulation, the mucus secreted by the cervix will be the most and egg white-like in composition. This can often be observed not only internally but also externally.
Cervix
In addition to the secretion of mucus, the cervix itself also changes around ovulation. During the infertile days in the cycle, the cervix is closed and lies very low. When you touch it, it feels firm. As the fertile days approach, the cervix rises a little higher and becomes softer. At the time of ovulation, the cervix is soft and has a clear opening. After ovulation, the cervix closes again, lowers and becomes firm again.
Other signals
Apart from the above, you can observe other signals such as ovulation pain, bleeding, symptoms of the breasts or changes in energy and mood. For each woman, these signals can be different and complement the main observations.
All the signals provide information that a woman can use to interpret her cycle and determine the fertile days. As a couple, you then know when a pregnancy might occur and when it might not. This is a completely natural way, which is free of side effects.
Contraception
The focus of this article is on natural family planning. Nevertheless, a few words about contraception.
In addition to natural observation of signs of fertility, there are various forms of contraception or birth control. If you are considering these methods, inform yourself well and compare with biblical principles. Not all of them are acceptable. For example, methods that prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg, the beginning of a new human being.
Some methods of contraception also have side effects, which can harm the body, the temple of the Holy Spirit.
In my opinion, the use of contraception should not encourage intimacy before or outside of marriage.
It is also important to realize that natural family planning and various forms of contraception do not provide complete assurance of preventing pregnancy. What we must realize is that ultimately it is God who determines. It is He who gives new life. "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps."Proverbs 16:9. Therefore, also bring your desires, wishes and thoughts regarding family planning to God in prayer.
In conclusion
Family planning is a God-given responsibility of husband and wife. A married couple has an important influence in this. Knowledge of the cycle and the signals given by the female body is important in this regard. We have the opportunity, as far as the Lord gives it, to experience the blessing of receiving a child from His hand or to prevent pregnancy if that is desirable.
All of this must be done in prayer to determine God's will for your family. This is how you can truly serve and honor the Lord in your marriage and as a follower of God.
"The closer we come to Christ, the nearer we shall be to one another. God is glorified as His people unite in harmonious action."
Adventist Home, p.179.3.
Comments